Grace or Goodness, I never have to choose

Before I get into today’s post, I’d like to say thank you. I am very grateful for every kind word and for all of the encouragement I received in response to my last post. Thank you so very much!

And now – for today’s post. It amazes me that in my house, there are two choices I never have to make …grace or goodness. I receive both every single day from Mike and Rainier…yes, Rainier. Both of them watch out for me all day, every day. There have even been times when I was having a bit of a tough time and Rainier went and got Mike to come to me.

Both of them know that I don’t like to be ‘watched’, and they work hard to make sure I don’t catch them observing me. There are some days that are tougher for me than others, and on the those days, both of them will go out of their way to make the challenging times entertaining – but within the boundaries that are right for me.

Again, I am truly blessed. There are days where I feel a little overwhelmed and even guilty about how I might be ruining their day, or causing them to worry. But that comes from me – neither of them has ever communicated that.

Rainier is not really a snuggler, but on the tough days he will crawl up next to me and just lay there quietly. Mike and Rainier have made the choice to stand with me during my challenges and never complain.

There are two words I phrases I never hear at my house:

“We can’t do that because you are sick”, Or “But you’re sick, and that’s not an option.”

Now I might hear “Don’t overdo it”… but that’s it. My health is never an issue – now, we might have to make some changes in our schedule, but I only receive grace and goodness. 

Outside of my house, I’ve haven’t received that kind of support. I’ve had folks work to make me feel like someone who shouldn’t leave the house. I’ve had folks tell me that I am nothing but an issue and that I don’t deserve any kind of support…I’m just a problem who needs to withdraw from society. I’ve even lost friends and folks from my tribe. I’ve had folks treat me like a baby or someone who can’t even go to the bathroom by myself, and candidly, I hate that. I am pretty strong and while some days are tougher than others, there are a lot of things I can do…even work in the yard! So, I don’t need folks to help me cross the street. Now there are days I might need a nap or to just sit down and be still for a bit, but the bottom line is that I’m still a pretty strong – and happy – person!

As a result of some treatment I experienced “outside”, I began to feel like someone who was a bother and began to withdraw a little bit from things. It took me a long time to share with my close friends what was going on with me. I began to feel more embarrassed and ashamed. On my toughest days, I’d just withdraw from everything, and that way no one would have to deal with me.

However, over the last couple of years, I’ve begun to share my story with a very few people who have made the choice to not just stand with me, but to support me.

I now live in a world surrounded in grace and just plain goodness. Rainier watches out for me, and stays close – we have great times on our walks and even our naps. I have a tribe of the most wonderful folks who check in and continue to invite me to all kinds of fun things. And I have Mike who does not let my health be an issue. Even as I began to write this series and I wanted to refer to my health as a weakness rather than a problem, he was insistent that we refer to it as a challenge – wow!

To every one of you who has chosen to stand with me…I love you and am very grateful for your goodness! And, I would like to close with a challenge and a song:

Between now and the end of the month write a note, or express your gratitude in a meaningful way to three people. The more detail you include, the better.

Here’s a song we listen to quite a bit over here…I hope it brings a little encouragement your way. It has certainly brought me some on many days.

Enjoy the rest of your day…talk soon!

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